Fountain of Knowledge
by CassieAggie
Summary: 'You are seeking a sense of truth and you need to learn what it is you seek and you will find it in the Fountain of Knowledge.' Peter Caine seeks the truth but will he like what he finds? Is the truth he seeks more about him or the people in his life? Can he learn from the knowledge he gathers?


**FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE **

'_**You are seeking a sense of truth and you need to learn what it is you seek and you will find it in the Fountain of Knowledge.'**_

**Peter Caine seeks the truth but will he like what he finds? Is the truth he seeks more about him or the people in his life? Can he learn from the knowledge he gathers? Can he use the lessons that important people in his life have shown him and harness them to fulfil his own destiny? **

For the 4th night in a row, Peter awoke from a restless sleep covered in a lather of sweat and with a feeling of great uncertainty.

His dreams over the past few nights had been strange – even for him. He lay in the dark hours of the early morning recalling the past few evenings. Firstly he remembered dreaming of his mother. It was a pleasant experience; she was bathed in a sea of white lights and great serenity had surrounded her images. She appeared delicate and refined and Peter sensed a great amount of love coming from her. The dream took a nasty turn when Peter's resentment surfaced and he found himself angry at his mother for having left him at such a young age.

He shifted in his damp bed and recalled his dreams from 3 nights ago. He had dreamed of a time in his teens when he first met Paul. Paul was such an enigmatic figure and Peter took a long time to figure out that Paul was a genuine man; a man who cared for him. His dreams of Paul had encompassed Annie and his foster sisters as well; they were all overshadowed in green tones and Peter remembered feeling a sense of stability and balance. That night his thoughts turned dark when it became apparent that his relationship with Paul was to change; it had to change – it was inevitable. His real father had returned and suddenly Peter's relationship with Paul seemed different somehow.

Peter kicked the blanket off and exposed his long lean frame to the cool night air and images of his 'red' dream from 2 nights ago replayed in his mind. Eppy, his first partner, who was like a big brother to him, appeared in his larger-than-life existence. Working with Eppy was an adventure, never dull and never boring. Peter always felt alive and somewhat powerful when in the company of Eppy. He smiled at some of the images as they replayed but then a dark feeling loomed – the bright red became darker, thicker – like a blood clot getting older with time. Peter knew instinctively that the sadness overtook him when Eppy and he were no longer working together; it was a source of great anguish for him at the time and even to this day, he missed his interaction with the older, affable and more experienced man.

Peter sat up and pulled one of the extra pillows to his chest. He blinked his sleepy eyes and conjured up his dreams from the night prior. He remembered this dream vividly; a dream of blue, a sense of drowning in the sea – it was all still very real for him in his mind's eye. Flashes of faces - Tyler, Keira, Kelly, Rebecca, Jodi and Jordan. The faces of women he had loved or had thought he loved at one time or another. He still didn't quite know how Jodi had become a face in that crowd but he deemed that he loved his partner in every true sense of the word, albeit not romantically. He had felt calm in this dream and tension-free but later a great sense of fear overtook him. Would he ever find a woman to love who would love him for him?

He took a gulp of the water on his bedside cabinet and threw his head back, clearing his mind of all else except for tonight's images. The black, inky images that had not long ago roused him from sleep just as all the other nights before them. Tonight he had awoken with a feeling of being able to pinpoint the dream, take hold of it, assess it and realise that it was a dream way before any of the others. He had become quite used to the feelings now; his thought processes were becoming more sophisticated. Tonight Kermit, Mary Margaret and Frank Strenlich had been the stars of this evening's drama-filled saga. Sparring words and exchanges of wit had soaked tonight's atmosphere.

Finally Peter dragged his tired body out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He stood beneath the warm water for an eternity and just let it wash away all his tension. Recalling all the dreams had given him a sense of urgency; why was he dreaming like this? What did it all mean? Was there a pattern here? What did the colours mean? He knew who he had to ask… the _only_ person he could ask.

He pulled on some jeans and a shirt and towelled his damp hair one more time before snatching up his car keys.

When Peter pulled up outside Caine's building he saw the flickering lights of the ever-present candles in the window but wasn't entirely sure that that meant his father was up and awake or that candles burned 24/7 in that place; after all it was 2.30am.

Peter made his way inside quietly. He reasoned that Caine was probably tucked up in bed and sound asleep; that reasoning was soon broken by Caine's voice within the dark shadows.

"Hello my son, I was expecting you."

"Of course you were! Why doesn't that surprise me? I suppose you also know why I'm here?"

Caine smiled. "You have been having dreams… you are unsure of their meaning."

Peter pushed his hands into his pockets and cocked his weary head to one side. "How do you know these things? Don't bother – I know you can't explain it… I just find it amazing that you know so much. So… do you tell me what it all means or do I have to go through some elaborate song and dance and guess the hidden message and meaning? Keep in mind I'm tired and it's been a long week!"

"I can tell you that you have entered the Fountain of Knowledge."

Peter looked around at the barren furnishings of his father's little nook and almost laughed out loud, "Is that what you call this place now?"

Caine stepped closer to some candles and became illuminated and Peter saw the smirk on his father's face which let him know he didn't appreciate his sense of humour. Caine just ignored the comment, "The Fountain of Knowledge is a spiritual place. It comes from within you. You are at a crossroad in your life and for one reason or another you have entered the Fountain of Knowledge and you need to pass through it to reach your destination. You are seeking a sense of truth and you need to learn what it is you seek and you will find it in the Fountain of Knowledge. That is what I can tell you my son."

Peter leaned against a wall and folded his arms across his chest. "So, this Fountain of Knowledge – does it come with an instruction manual or what? I really wanna speed this thing up you know… I can't afford to be having these dreams – I need my sleep! I work long hours; I'm no good at my job or to my work colleagues without plenty of rest."

Caine smiled at his son's impatience. "Actually Peter, you are correct. There is a 'manual' if you like, to help in this process… tell me son – did your dreams have colours attached to them?"

"Like I even need to tell you that! Okay, yes… each one had a specific colour attached to it. What does all that mean?"

Caine disappeared behind candlelight and Peter was left wondering what was going on. After a few silent moments Peter called "Pop? Where did you go? Pop?"

Caine emerged from the shadows holding a large book. He handed it to Peter and offered, "This will help you through my son. Read it carefully and when you think you have it figured out, I will talk you through the last phase of your journey through the Fountain of Knowledge."

Peter took the heavy book and as he turned to offer up some sarcastic quip he realised his father had disappeared again. Feeling too tired to think anymore, Peter just took the book and headed back out to his car.

When Peter returned to his apartment his body was telling him to just fall back into bed, pull up the covers and just get some shut-eye. His mind was alive with wonder and there was no way he would be able to sleep without knowing, at least a little something – perhaps something to ensure some restful slumber some time before he was due at work.

He poured himself some juice and settled on the sofa. He pulled a rug over his lap and took up the book. He let it fall open to a pre-destined page [a trick his father had taught him many years ago as a young boy]. It worked. There was a heading; "Know Your True Self" and it went on to explain how colours could shape your personality and who you really are. Peter read on with great interest.

As he read his mind skipped ahead to the dream colours. He ran his finger down the page and settled on the 'white' paragraph… _expect to experience happiness, seek perfection and desire constant enlightenment, strive for all that is best and expect the same from others…_ 'green' … _cherish stability, balance and persistence. Finish what you start; be frank, moral, sensitive, affectionate and loyal…_ 'red' … _impulsive, athletic, sexy and quick to speak your mind… _'blue' … _basic need for calm and harmonious existence; capable, conservative and sensitive to others. Loyal, trustworthy and able to enjoy life but find it hard to release emotions … _'black' … _dignity, sophistication. Conceal your real personality and emotion from others. Find it difficult to be carefree but in public, you put forth an image of wit and cleverness._

Was any of this making sense? He couldn't be sure. He re-read the paragraphs and conjured up the faces of the people in his dreams as he read each paragraph. It began to make inroads on his psyche but it wasn't taking the route he had expected. He imagined that the colours would represent the people in his dreams but that's not what emerged for Peter. He studied each paragraph, each colour, and each dream in sequence and a pattern began to emerge for him. He began to learn a lot about himself.

A sea of white light - his mother, delicate and refined. She did appear that way to him but as he read the paragraph it became clear to him that she had instilled in him, even at a very young age that he should expect to experience happiness – that as a good person, he deserved to feel and desire happiness in all shapes and forms. It was _his_ duty to ensure his happiness, to seek perfection and always do his best, to desire constant enlightenment and always strive to learn more and more and that it was okay to expect the same from others - and that he should surround himself with people who felt the need to strive for more in life. Suddenly Peter's heart felt very full. Remembering his mother's words and her hands on his as she talked to him in the garden, by the pond, looking at their reflections; her words were very soothing to him now.

Peter became aware that the room around him had become a soft hue of green, like a forest on a Spring day. He drank in the atmosphere and swore that he could smell trees and bushes and plants. His mind retraced his dreams of Paul and Annie and the girls. He read the paragraph again and he became all too aware of what it meant. He did indeed cherish stability and it was the one thing that Paul was able to give him and he expected nothing in return for that great gift but it was Peter who provided the balance and persistent atmosphere for the Blaisdell family. Peter's mind took a trip back in time. Paul had long ago taught him 'finish what you start' – no matter what the task and Peter had taken that lesson with him through his whole life and applied it at every opportunity. He learned to be upfront and to always speak his mind. Paul had taught him that if he believed in something to never be afraid to stand up for it. At the same time, Peter learned that a sensitive caring nature would serve him just as well. Annie passed along the traits of loyalty and affection and Peter felt an overwhelming sense of pride as he recalled numerous times that both Annie and Paul had commended these very traits and how proud they were of him. Peter felt goose bumps all over and a tingle as his heart fluttered at the great pride beaming inside him right now.

The trees disappeared and a sea of red overtook the room. Peter didn't feel afraid – he knew Eppy was with him. His mind felt alert and alive and his body had become electric. He quickly read the paragraph and it wasn't hard at all to apply the words written there to how he felt right now. Impulsive – that's how he lived his existence with Eppy; the two of them were so in sync it was scary but Eppy showed Peter that it was perfectly all right to live that way, especially in their line of work. Peter was never afraid to ride one of his hunches; they were a part of him. He felt strong and powerful in that relationship, like he was allowed to be cocky, allowed to be proud of himself and his athletic ability – even his sex appeal. His brashness didn't always serve him well but he learned through Eppy that speaking your mind was the only way to get results and even now, years later, he knew the lessons that he took onboard from his days with Eppy were permanently instilled in his make-up and he would never regret them. So it wasn't so much that he thought of Eppy as impulsive, quick-tempered, strong, macho and arrogant – he could now see these different traits and how they came to be. Peter felt good about this side of his character.

The light outside was becoming brighter as the early morning wore on and Peter was aware of a calming blue hue across the room. He smiled as the faces of the women in his life began to emerge before him. Tyler, sweet Tyler with her angelic voice; Keira – strong-willed and passionate; Kelly with her auburn hair and dark eyes and soulful smile; Rebecca with her light tresses and sexy smile… Jordan, so sweet; elfin in appearance but a real firecracker and then Jodi, his capable and strong and very beautiful partner. He read the words and it became all too obvious what they meant. Each of these women, in their own way, had shown Peter how to be trustworthy and loyal; how to enjoy life but also how hard it was to show or release his emotions. One way or another, Peter's lack of being able to show his emotions had cost him his relationship with each of these women. On the upside, they had also shown him how capable he was in other areas and that being sensitive to a woman's needs didn't make him any less of a man. His relationship with these women would hold him steady for future love and he could only hope that any woman would possess the traits of his past loves.

Peter felt a cold shiver course through him and suddenly the room turned dark and shadowy. Peter jumped as a life-size Kermit appeared before him, standing by the window. Frank Strenlich appeared sitting in the chair opposite him and Mary Margaret Skalany popped up perched on the coffee table in front of him. Peter wasn't quite sure whether he was supposed to be afraid or not, but after a moment of uncertainty, a peacefulness overtook him. He looked at the faces of each of his 'visitors' and he realised even without re-reading the words of the 'black' paragraph that these people only held good thoughts in his heart. Yes, each of them held a mystique about them; each of them found it hard to convey their emotions and each of them very private but they did all possess a very quick wit and were extremely clever; but moreover, Peter felt that way around them too. He felt that he could hide away somewhat and they wouldn't expect or demand anything from him; they would allow him that solace, that _alone_ time. It did feel difficult to be carefree around them, but that was mostly because of the nature of their job and those 3 people in particular were built like Peter emotionally, always on the job and very rarely tuned out to what was going on around them. None of these traits were a bad thing, just another fold in his material of life that made him who he is.

The darkness began to abate. Peter felt drowsy. The book slipped quietly to the floor as his head nestled into a pillow and sleep took him. Within moments Peter's head was being filled with a myriad of wonderful colours; every colour imaginable, a verity of rainbows.

When Peter awoke some 3 hours later he was stunned to witness the scene before him. There was a bright, almost too bright, rainbow dashing across his living room. He sat up carefully, not wanting to chase it away if that were possible. The rainbow dazzled and glistened and it was then that Peter sensed a presence with him in the room. He turned to see his father standing there. Caine smiled and wandered across. He stepped through the rainbow and appeared to be sucked into a tunnel-like shape. Caine popped out the other end and spoke "Hello my son."

A huge smiled came across Peter's face and he laughed "What the Hell are you doing?"

Caine shrugged as he always did, "I do not know – you summoned me here, I am here."

Peter wasn't sure what was going on now. Was this a dream too? Did all of this mean something; did it tie in with the book of colours?

"Pop – sorry, dad – I summoned you here? I don't recall doing that."

"You called to me in a dream. I was sleeping and you plucked me from my sleep. You asked me to travel this road with you… we stepped upon the rainbow and we awakened here."

Peter slowly stood up and took in the scene around him. The swirling of colours; the hues and shades all around. He reached out and took his father's hand and suddenly a bright slash of white danced across the room, followed quickly by a swirl of forest green. A sea of red and dark maroon snaked around their bodies and pretty soon a soft falling of blue snow flakes landed around them and then the room turned black and all the prettiness disappeared. Peter was compelled to close his eyes and when he opened them again; his living-room was back to normal. The rainbow was gone; the sea of colours had drifted off and he stood holding his father's hand. Caine led his son to the sofa. Peter was a little unsteady on his feet; he wasn't sure exactly what had gone on. He was unsure of how much time had actually elapsed.

Caine spoke softly "You have just come through the Fountain of Knowledge my son."

"Really? I remember colours, all kinds of colours and emotions and feelings and all kinds of confusion. What is the Fountain of Knowledge Pop, and what does it mean for me?"

"You learned that the people you hold closest in your heart have taught you a great many lessons and they have taught you about different parts of who you are. Peter, we each travel our journey of life and we sew a tapestry as we weave through the years. We come across nature and the phenomena of physical life that is not dominated by man; we encounter the entire material world as a whole and we are expected to make sense of it; we touch mystical and magical elements and recognise that not all we see is of human understanding; we see a spiritual truth and we become bewildered. We learn that a vital force is teaching us and taking us along our corridor, that there are forces observable that we are invited to witness but there are also moments in our journeys – essential characters that make up our unique tapestry and it is up to us to recognise those characters and use them for only good, to take them on as part of us – to make us whole. Peter, you reached a peak tonight – a summit of your essential character. You questioned different parts of yourself, questioned how you came to be who you are. Can you tell me what you learned?"

Peter sat and pondered his thoughts for a few long moments before daring to answer his father's probing question.

As Peter spoke, he was unaware of it but a gleaming rainbow radiated out around him and through it Caine was able to clearly see the images of the people from Peter's dreams – his loved-ones, the people who had taught Peter how to be who he is, the man before him.

"I have learned that through gaining knowledge and experiencing life seeing and doing, I am able to be affected by life's experiences, from within and without; to harness that knowledge and use it to my advantage. I have a sense of contentment that overwhelms me at times; I'm never quite sure that one is allowed to be this happy or fulfilled and at the same time I draw strength from realising that I have so much more to learn and to do and that pushes me forward and onward. I have learned that to strive for excellence does not mean that I don't appreciate faults, that I don't have to have everything exact or perfect or complete – I am just willing to take it onboard and use the information for good or bad – that no matter what the circumstance I am able to learn something from it. I continue to strive and labour and struggle and know that all those around me are also doing their bit to make that struggle a little less, each passing moment."

Caine's eyes misted over as his beloved wife, Peter's mother, shone in brilliant white and encircled her son with great love. His son had learned much from her brief time on this Earth from his mother's love and adoration.

Peter continued, "Seeking stability, durability, a steadiness in your life does not have to mean that you cannot weather the storms that life produces. I have learned that by surrounding myself with good people – people that I care about, I can weather anything that life throws at me and I know that I have the backing and that I'm there for people also. I've learned that being forthright and direct is not a bad thing. It does not mean I'm conceited or brash; it means I am unwavering in my thoughts and beliefs and if I believe strongly enough in something or someone, I will go down fighting to that defend that belief. I have also come to learn that loyalty, faithfulness and complete allegiance to those I love and care about is nothing short of being the truest form of love that I can ever show."

Caine beamed proudly as the images of Paul, Annie and Peter's 2 foster sisters appeared in his rainbow of light. He felt immense gratitude to the Blaisdell family for all that they had given Peter, both materially and spiritually. He knew his son would not have survived without the love of this amazing family.

"Ah, to live life – to exist, to be alert and alive can bring with it many challenges. I have learned that I can muster that enthusiasm and make myself watchful and mindful of those around me and become active in watching over them. I can sense danger and I can sense goodwill and I hope that I can harness my excitement and need for thrills and spills to form a positive energy for those around me to grasp. My impulsiveness, the drive that impels me in any given moment is also not a bad trait to have, especially in my line of work – it took me some time to realise that. I have been called cocky and brash and even bold and reckless but I also know that being self-assured will get me through some tight situations. I possess these personality traits because I need them, not so much that I desire them but without them – I'm not sure I'd be the same person or would want to be."

Peter's wisdom and knowledge of his own character was very touching to Caine. He had never seen his son lay open his feelings, his thoughts, and his inner-most perceptions. He recognised the image appearing as Peter's ex-partner Eppy whom he had met on one occasion and smiled at the face of the man he knew had shaped a large part of his son's persona.

Peter ran his hands through his hair; he didn't know if he had more to offer his father but he also knew he hadn't finished. He wasn't sure where all of this information and self-learned data was leading – but he felt compelled to put it out there. He didn't know where the words were coming from; he was able to think back on his dreams – take a word here and there and somehow turn it into what he really thought; how he was perceiving his life-force at this very moment in time. He welcomed the ability to be able to talk on this level with his father.

"I've come to learn that being capable can take on many masks. You can be capable or competent but still not care about the task at hand – that is not how I intend to realise my potential. I want to exhibit my efficiency, hone my gifts and put forward my intelligence and skills in areas where I excel and stand up and be proud to show what I have to offer."

Caine looked on in amazement as the faces of the important women in Peter's life peeped in one after the other in his son's aura. Caine knew that these women meant a great deal to Peter at one time or another and he was happy that his son's heart and spirit had been blessed and touched by so many wonderful and beautiful women.

Peter wasted no time in getting on with the lesson at hand. "I know I possess a wit, a bright and clever and sometimes even charming nature and I like to use humour when I can. I don't feel that I am arrogant to a point of dislike and I would like to think that I can strike up a repartee with almost anyone and hold their attention but I do not suffer fools lightly and I will not engage in a battle of words if I don't think the situation is warranted. I won't waste words. I would love to live my life care-free and in a light-hearted manner, to be just existing and happy - but I know deep down that happiness is not something to be taken for granted; it has been learned and earned and living an existence is not the same as living a life, nurturing a life. These are the things I have learned thus far in my life Pop."

Caine smiled and waved on Kermit, Frank and Mary Margaret as they passed through Peter's haloed rainbow and when the rainbow faded out Caine watched on as his son took time to reflect on his own words. Caine knew Peter wasn't quite finished yet.

Peter closed his eyes and lay his hands palms up in his lap in a composed posture and drank in his surrounds and then said calmly "I've just now come to realise something, after having had a nagging question burning through me and the answer was staring me in the face…"

Caine listened on with great interest as his son continued.

"I sat here pondering all the people from my dreams; I pondered the colour angles – I delved into each personality and every crevice of each person, trying to bring them to light. I wanted to drag out of each of them why they had come to me, why they made it to my Fountain of Knowledge and I managed to do that, I accomplished that very feat. It was harder and different to what I had expected… I had thought I was to realise things about them but instead I learned so much about myself that it scared me. I opened my mouth and all these revelations just flowed and some of this stuff I was never even aware of and I am so fulfilled right now and I couldn't imagine that there would be much more to say but it suddenly hit me that someone was missing from my Fountain of Knowledge and for the life of me I couldn't figure that out…"

Caine spoke quietly "Peter, did you read the last page of the book I gave you?"

Peter looked around for the book and picked it up off the coffee table. He said quizzically "I thought I had read everything."

He turned to the last page and read.

_Your Fountain of Knowledge houses pieces of your life, people from your life that have placed great emphasis on your inner being. These people will remain with you throughout all eternity, never to be forgotten. They are the chosen ones in your realm, they will live through you and never leave you – they will rejoin you in harmony in your next life. _

_When you pass through the Fountain of Knowledge and the Master Rainbow collects you for your final journey and passage through the Fountain you will be blessed and faced with the person who has brought more to your life than any other living being in this cosmos. You will look into the face of the person who fills your heart with each beat and who breathes your air simultaneously. If this person is not in the living sphere they will be brought to you and you will spend precious moments with them as you relay your learned lessons in this journey. _

_Good luck in reaching your destination. Remember to thank your Fountain of Knowledge Enlightened One and ensure they feel the warmth of your love and knowledge. Pass through and cherish each moment. _

Peter looked to his father and Caine saw the tears filling his eyes. Peter stood up and went to his father. The words trembled from his lips, "You are my Enlightened One."

The two men embraced and Peter felt a surge of electricity go through him like Caine had just departed a volt of wisdom that went coursing through him. He held his father's body to his and let the warmth of Caine's body impart on his and he said quietly "Pop, my heart is filled with each beat of yours and I want you to continue to breathe my air. Thank you for making me who I am, for bringing me to this point in time, helping me through the Fountain of Knowledge and for sharing your love and wisdom with me. I love you Pop."

"Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me also son… I see how much you have learned and I know that you will take this knowledge with you in your continued journey and that our paths will become intertwined and grow deeper in time to come. That is our destiny Peter.

_The End._


End file.
